To those who've never gone down.

This is to those who've never gone down. 

To those who've never known what it's like.

It being depression.

You may be reading this thinking "I know exactly what it is and what it's like"

But you don't.

Heck I might not even know what it's like.

I think I've been there.

But surely I've never been as deep down as someone else.

But if you happen to be the person reading this who thinks "I've never been depressed" well this is for you.

You don't choose to do it and you don't realize it's happening until it's over.

It's a constant fight.

First you fight to stop it.

Because when it starts, it's just a bad day and surely tomorrow will be better.

But tomorrow gets worse.

Oh well maybe I'm just having a bad week you think to yourself.

But it lasts longer than a week.

Everyday getting worse than the one before it.

Not because of what's happening or what the people around you are doing. Of course you'll truly believe that that's what's to blame, but it isn't. What's truly at fault is yourself. You're sick. You don't know it but you are. Theres no cure or remedy. You just have to wait it out. You think everyone hates you and when they treat you well, you think it's out of sympathy or that they will turn it around at any moment and laugh. That it's all a trick. 

But then one day you realize that today was better than yesterday and you laugh a little. You love someone a little and you realize that that someone did something for you and it was genuine. Not a trick. And then you feel happy. But NO! It's wrong! You can't feel happy! You can't have a friend! You are sad and pathetic and you simply need to wallow in your pity for the rest I your life and feel terrible about yourself. Because you're worthless. So you fight it! You fight the only good in your life to make it go away. But it doesn't. Everyday is better than the day before, and you can't stop it. 

Now to those of you who've never gone down, that's what it's like.