Broken keyboard

It's like you're invisible. But not completely invisible. Because if you were, they wouldn't be able to see you. See you to laugh at you and to make themselves better in the eyes of those laughing with them. Like the only reason they see you is because they want to laugh. And if you do something good, they just pretend that it's gone. And somehow you feel like this right here, this very thing you're writing will somehow teach them a lesson. But it won't. They will just continue laughing. And if you write something good, they will pretend it isn't there. So you want to stop writing. Cause maybe your keyboard is broken. But then you realize it's not. It's you. You're broken. So then you try to work. You read and you write and then you read some more so you can become better. Just so you can be invisible. Completely invisible. Because no attention at all is better than the negative attention. And all the while you hope. Just a little bit of hope in the back of your mind, that one day you could be like them. Even just a little. One little comment on your work being great is all. But it won't happen. And you know that. But then you remember how great your life is. How happy it is even though you can't write something as great or even close to as great as theirs with all your work and time put into it. You can't write something even close to theirs with all you have even when they write it without a single thought or breath. So you just stay happy with your life because it's great. And maybe you would wish all the world away just to write something half as good as theirs but you have something they don't have. And maybe they want what you have, they just don't realize you have it. So then you feel content. But here you are. Still writing.